One of my new favorite blogs is called Productivity Flourishing. This article (click here) is about a phenomenon known as “emotional contagion,” a.k.a. the invisible conversation.
The concept is simple: There are conversations that go on between us and others that are non-verbal. They are driven by the emotions of the people we surround ourselves with. The article describes it as this:
An interconnected network of brain cells known as mirror neurons respond to the emotional state of those around us by mirroring that same state. This immensely powerful conversation happens without intention, and much of it can be nonverbal. Though it’s as powerful as any deliberate, verbal conversation, if not more so.
It goes on to discuss how these invisible conversations affect us in various situations.
Sometimes You Need a Ghost Writer
As I read this article, I couldn’t help but think how many job seekers need a “ghost writer” to help keep their invisible conversations on-track and positive. What’s a ghost writer? It’s a person who helps you maintain the proper talk-track in your head so you get the results you are looking for. Let me give you an example:
When we are struggling to find work or advance our careers, we can become very down on ourselves. This projects a negativity that impacts the invisible conversations we have with friends, family, our job search network, and even hiring managers. I often find much of the career coaching I do by phone or Skype are focused on helping people work through this negativity so they can feel better and have more productive invisible conversations with those they are interacting with.
Invisible Conversation Killing the Job Interview
Recently, I did a coaching call by Skype with a CareerHMO.com member who has been between jobs for 18 months. He wanted to do some work on his interviewing skills because he was convinced his answers were hurting him on job interviews. As we started to discuss how he answered basic behavioral questions, I felt a strong negative invisible conversation going on. I stopped him and asked point blank what happened in his professional past that had hurt him so deeply. He was shocked, and said, “How did you know I’ve been hurt?” I told him it was the non-verbal cues. His voice tone, body language and hand gestures were making it clear he was upset. Even the way he was articulating his answers gave away the deep anger, sadness and insecurity he was feeling.
We spent the rest of the call talking about the situation and helping him to come to terms with it. As his ghost writer, I helped him look at the situation more objectively so he could remove the emotion from the invisible conversation. A few exchanges by email and a follow-up Skype call shortly after led to some encouraging results. You could feel the difference when we interacted! It won’t surprise you to learn he has found it much easier to increase his networking activities too. His confidence is up and it shows! And in my experience, this will eventually lead to a new job.
Do YOUR Invisible Conversations Need a Ghost Writer?
This recent experience with a CareerHMO.com client made me realize it was time we expanded our offerings and give members a way to regularly work with a career coach to ensure the invisible conversations they are having are productive and positive. So, let me introduce you to two new subscription plans: Our Professional subscription offers you a coaching call with an expert by phone or Skype every other week, while our Executive subscription offers you a coaching call every week. Check them out and let me know what you think. Depending on the subscription you buy, you save $5-10/coaching session.
Click for New Subscription Plans »
P.S. Any existing member (Premium or Freemium) who upgrades their subscription by October 31, 2011 will get two extra coaching calls [$90 VALUE] for one month.
How to Upgrade
In order to upgrade, you must e-mail and inform me which level you'd like to purchase. I will take care of everything else. You can reach me at info@careerhmo.com.
Don’t let the invisible conversations you are having with others hurt your career. Let us help keep your emotions in check so you can send the right message every time!
J.T. O’Donnell is the founder of CAREEREALISM.com and CEO of CareerHMO.com, a web-based career development company.Image from Martin Fischer/Shutterstock
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The new year is here! For many of us, January is the perfect time to reflect on our lives and set new goals, hoping to become better versions of ourselves. Most people make personal resolutions, like getting in shape, quitting smoking or drinking, or learning a new language. But what about career resolutions?
A career resolution is exactly what it sounds like: a resolution for your career intended to help you grow into a better professional. At Work It DAILY, we believe that you need to work on your career every day (yes, you do, in fact, need to "work it daily"). So, everyone should make a career resolution or two along with those other ambitious personal resolutions. They can be little things like learning a new skill or growing your professional network, or bigger goals like landing a promotion or getting a new job.
But how do you know what kind of career resolutions to make?
You can begin by asking yourself, "Am I where I want to be in my career?" If your answer is "no," you need to take a closer look at your career goals.
Here are five more career questions you should be asking yourself this new year to figure out how to grow your career and become the professional you know you can be.
1. Am I Proud Of My Job Title?
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You could be a janitor or a neurosurgeon, it doesn't matter. If you aren't proud of what you do for a living, there's something missing: passion and purpose.
Career burnout is real, but sometimes it's deeper than that. Our passion at 25 won't necessarily be our passion at 40. And that's okay.
When we are passionate about what we do, we are proud because we are doing what we think is important, what we love doing. We feel a sense of purpose. We are adding value to and making a difference in this crazy world—in a small, but significant way.
Every job is important. No matter what your job title is, if you aren't proud of it, and don't feel like you can leverage your strengths as a professional in the position, you should absolutely change that. Identify that one problem you want to find a solution to and go after it. What are you waiting for?
Remember, the only bad job is the one you aren't passionate about, the one that isn't allowing you to leverage your professional strengths and reach your potential.
If you don't know what your professional strengths are or what kind of work you'd find purposeful and fulfilling, we recommend taking our free career quizzes.
- Career Decoder Quiz - discover your workplace personas
- ISAT Quiz - discover your communication style
Take the quizzes now to learn your unique combination of professional strengths and how they can help you get better career results so you can be proud of what you do.
2. Do I Feel Secure In My Career?
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This is a bit different from job security. Actually, job security doesn't exist. Every job is temporary. Think you can stay in the same job for decades and then retire? Think again. While that may have been commonplace for past generations, today's workforce and job market are completely different than what they were a decade or two ago.
So what does it mean to feel secure in our careers? When we believe as professionals that we can add value wherever we are.
You are a business-of-one. A company won't want to invest in you if they don't know the kinds of services you provide, the kind of value you could add to the organization, and the problems you could solve for them. Here are some examples of questions that will help you determine if you're secure in your career:
- Are you adding value at your current job?
- Are you honing your skills, expanding your network, and building your personal brand?
- Do you feel confident that if you lost your job, you'd be able to find a comparable one in the same field?
- Do you feel confident you'd be able to demonstrate to potential employers how you add value?
Since every job is temporary, it's extremely important to constantly work on our careers and ask ourselves these questions frequently so we always feel secure in our businesses-of-one.
3. Will I Be Able To Achieve Wealth?
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When most people think of "wealth," they think of dollar signs and anything that you can attach a monetary value to. Our jobs help us build wealth. We're not going to tell you that money isn't important. Of course it is! It allows you to live the life you want to live. In many ways, money equals freedom.
But the truth is, there are other forms of wealth that are more important that you can't attach any monetary value to.
Real wealth comes in the form of family, friends, hobbies, experiences, knowledge, and community. If you don't have these things, money will never fill that void.
So, is your career allowing you to build this type of wealth? The intangible kind? Or are your relationships suffering because of your job? Is your work-life balance nonexistent? Do you have any time to pursue hobbies, learn, or volunteer?
Your career should never inhibit you from achieving real wealth. The best job isn't the one that pays the most. It's the one that pays the bills and gives you enough time to live, too.
4. Do I Have Any Regrets?
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Just asking ourselves this question can be difficult because maybe we don't want to know the answer. Acknowledging that you regret something in your life is the first step to making a change. Guess what? There's still time to chase your dreams!
If you do have regrets, that doesn't mean you haven't been a successful professional. That also doesn't mean you haven't had a good career. You could be the most successful person, but if you never got up the courage to start that business, make that career change, or go back to school, you'll most likely think, "What if?" for the rest of your life.
You'll never know if you don't try. Don't be afraid of failure. Life is just one big experiment, and it's your job to learn from those experiments. That's how you discover what works and what doesn't. That's how you discover what's possible.
And even if you do "fail," that's an incredibly more valuable experience than waiting out the clock on a mediocre career. So, don't give up on your dreams just yet.
5. Can I Reach My Full Potential In This Role? In This Career?
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When we feel like we have more to contribute to society, that's a sign we haven't yet reached our full potential. Do you feel like you're wasting your potential at your current job? Do you think you'd reach your full potential in another career?
Really think about what you want your professional legacy to be. It's a lot harder to get up in the morning when you don't find fulfillment in your work. When it comes time for you to retire, are you going to look back on your career and feel like you could have accomplished much, much more with those 50 years?
Everyone has unique gifts, skills, and expertise. When we focus on developing ourselves as individuals, as businesses-of-one, it's a lot easier to share those things with the world. Give yourself a chance to reach your full potential. If you haven't taken our free quizzes yet, your results will help you do just that. You may be surprised by what you can accomplish.
Before you get back into the same routine at work this year, we hope you take a few minutes to ask yourself these career questions. Listen carefully to how you answer them. You may need to make a career resolution or two.
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